XFiles Commentary
by Dizzy Rockerson
Summary: This is a detailed look at every X-Files episode ever to help/entertain old and new viewers alike. Click for more information.
1. Chapter 1

Hello my fellow X-Files enthusiasts!

I have watched the X-Files since I was five years old. It's been a major part of my life, and I love it with all of my being. That said, I realized very recently, as I was going over old episodes for the first time in a few years, that I really don't understand shit of the series, because most of the story I watched before I was old enough to understand what was going on. I started watching episodes from the sixth, seventh and eighth seasons, and although I was finally able to follow the plotline, I still didn't understand a lot of stuff, because all of the groundwork that had been laid down in previous seasons was a mystery to me.

I decided to start from the beginning, and watch from episode one, all the way up to 'I Want to Believe', so that I could truly call myself an X-Files fanatic.

But before I started doing that, I realized that I am probably not the only person with this problem. Sure, it's probably fairly unique that I started watching at such a young age, but being confused by this show is not a rare occurrence. There are so many plotlines going on at any given time that even the greatest intellectual has to stop and think about it.

I then got an idea.

There is a thing I follow (here be the link:.net/s/5105759/1/AnalyzationCommentary_of_TOS_for_KS) which is an analyzation/commentary of Star Trek the original series. What this girl does, (who is known by her followers as Brittany (or Captain, if you want to get technical)), is she goes through each episode of Star Trek TOS and tells us step by step what is going on. Its main function is to point out evidence to prove the theory that Kirk/Spock is cannon, but regardless, I thought that a similar project, done for the X-Files, just to be a reference guide for people either just starting out in the series, or veterans who want a greater clarification, could be a fun and helpful project to do.

So I used Brittney's work as my outline, and started doing commentaries for X-Files episodes.

It's a tedious job (although, rather enjoyable), so it'll take a while to get each chapter up, but I hope that if you find my work helpful, or just entertaining, that you'll stay posted, and give me feedback on how to improve it, things you want clarified, and the like.

Admittedly, X-Files has substantially more material than Star Trek TOS, as it has six more seasons to deal with, so this will be a rather long project, but I'm up for the undertaking if you all are.

I will be doing both conspiracy episodes and monster of the week episodes respectively, and will hit the movies where they fall on the timeline. (I.E. I'll do Fight the Future after the fifth season, and I Want to Believe after the ninth.)

Also, if you get bored waiting for me to post the next chapter, I encourage you to check out Brittany's commentary. Even if you're not a K/S supporter. (Actually, especially if you're not a K/S supporter.) And if you just don't watch Star Trek… well, shame on you. You obviously like sci-fi if you watch X-Files, so now's a good time to start on the Trek.

She deserves all the publicity in the world, so give it to her, srsly.

And leave comments for me as well.

Please and thank you.

I hope you enjoy it.

Peace out,

-Dizzy Rockerson : )

**Season 1; Episode 1**

**PILOT**

So we start the series out with, instead of titles, the classic X-Files "X" mixed with a foggy background and eerie music. Then we get a screen that says "The following story is inspired by actual documented accounts."

The actual show starts off with a young woman, in what looks to be a nightgown, running through a forest in the middle of the night.

Uh… what?

The woman doesn't have the best balance in the world, however, as she trips and rolls down a hill.

She's lying there on the forest ground when, HOLYSHITOHBAGAWSH THERE IS SOME DARK, MYSTERIOUS FIGURE COMING TOWARD HER AND THE LEAVES ARE GOING CRAZY AND THE MUSIC IS GETTING DRAMATIC AND SUDDENLY THE SCREEN IS WHITE AND…

She's dead.

It's now morning and the police are examining her. They find two little lumps of something on her lower back. One of the officers IDs the woman as Karen Swenson, saying that she went to high school with his son, and the other officer is all like, "It's happening again, isn't it?", while the first officer walks away without giving the frantic officer, or us, an explanation.

Meanwhile, back in Washington DC, we get to see Scully for the first time. Huzzah! And isn't she /young/. Dayum.

Anyway, Scully is strutting her ass down the hallway, into someone's office, who must be a director of sorts. There are three men in the room. The director, some unnamed, unimportant man, and an elderly gentleman smoking in the background. How bizarre. You would think FBI Headquarters would be a smoke free environment. Maybe we should keep an eye on that fella…

Just a thought.

The director does a quick briefing of Scully's education and career history. She was in college for medicine, but was recruited by the FBI, and she took up the offer. The director then asks her if she is familiar with an agent by the name of Fox Mulder.

Scully says that she does know of him, and that he gave himself a bit of a reputation at the academy. It's here that we first learn of Mulder's nickname, 'Spooky Mulder'. We are obviously supposed to infer, due to the precarious way they are discussing him, and due to the information Scully just provided us with, that Mulder is a bit of a character, and probably doesn't fit in too well with his other co-workers, and, most likely, his peers in general.

The director explains to Scully about the project that Mulder has taken on, the X-Files, which is a series of cases having to do with unexplained phenomenon. He tells her that he wants her to assist Mulder on this project, which Scully doesn't look particularly thrilled with.

Scully: "Am I to understand that you want me to debunk the X-Files?"

The director is all like, "Hellz naw! Just be a scientist and give us your scientific opinion on stuff."

Cut to Scully walking down the hallway of what appears to be the basement. It's narrow and crowded and not the cheeriest place to work. So who would be working down here in this lonely, cramped place in this big building?

Cue Mulder's first lines on the show:

"Sorry, nobody down here except for the FBI's most unwanted!"

Oh, so this is where they keep the most unwanted. Gotcha. More evidence that Mulder isn't exactly… respected in his field.

Now we get to see Mulder and Scully meet for the first time. That's something I really like about this show. It really starts from the beginning. We get to see this relationship between Mulder and Scully build throughout the entire series, from the very first time they met, all the way up to 'I Want to Believe'. I don't only mean romantically, however that's there as well, but also about their professional relationship, and as friends.

If you listen to their very first conversation here, you will see how little Mulder trusts this young woman the FBI has sent down to his lair to assist him with his work. Mulder knows that the FBI doesn't like him, so naturally he assumes that Scully is down there to spy on him and discredit him, and he's not entirely incorrect. It's pretty obvious from the beginning that that was the intent of the directors, and it's also stated a bajillion times later in the series, in various seasons, as we will see.

Moving on.

Mulder wastes no time getting into his current case. He is clearly trying to intimidate, or patronize, Scully, by emphasizing her medical and scientific background and trying to convince her that such things have little to do with X-Files.

Scully, being the strong-minded, unshakeable woman that she is, takes Mulder's mocking in stride, and gives the most honest answers she can as Mulder shows her slides of what we already saw at the beginning of the episode.

Mulder shows her a slide of the chemical compound that the two lumps on the girl's side are made of, and asks Scully to identify it. Cue dramatic music as Scully looks it over and can't really explain what she's seeing any more than saying, "Well… erm… it's organic." Keep in mind that Scully is not just an agent, but a pretty damn good doctor, so she should know her chemistry. She asks Mulder what it is, and he's like, "Idk, but look, there's more!" and shows her more slides of dead people with lumps on their sides.

Mulder then has a little ranty moment, where he asks Scully, presumably rhetorically, why such cases are labeled as unexplained and ignored. I like this little bit, as it shows us a glimpse as to just how passionate Mulder is about his work.

This is also the first time alien life is brought up, as during his rant, Mulder asks, a bit mockingly, "Do you believe in the existence of extraterrestrials?"

Scully gives a very logical and scientific answer that basically sums up to, "Nah." which is also a nice little bit, because it shows us that without scientific proof, Scully isn't going to buy into anything very easily. This scene sets her up as the skeptic we all know and love.

Mulder's expression while she's telling him why she doesn't believe in aliens is pretty cute, too. It's basically like, "Yeah, I figured." which is further evidence that Mulder thinks that Scully is just a young scientist sent down to eff up his work.

Scully then has her own little passionate moment, where she talks about how science can prove anything.

Scully: "That answers are there. You just have to know where to look."

Mulder: "That's why the put the 'I' in FBI."

He tells her he'll see her bright and early the next morning, 'cuz they're going to Oregon, and before the scene cuts we get to see Scully smile to herself, genuinely amused by her first encounter with Mr. Fox Mulder, which is pretty adorable.

Cut to an airplane.

Mulder is lying on two seats with headphones on. Scully is going over the case files. The music gets funky and the camera closes up on "autopsy" and "Dr. Nemman" so I guess we're supposed to remember that. The pilot says they are landing now, and the fasten seatbelt comes on.

AND THEN OHBAGAWSH THE PLANE GOES FUCKING CRAZY.

Alright, I will admit to being slightly puzzled with this scene. It wasn't until recently that I came to the conclusion that the plane goes wacko because it hit the spot that makes machines and time go crazy (which we'll get to here in a bit), but that doesn't make complete sense to me, but it's the best I can come up with. Otherwise, I see no reason for this scene to even be here. It's always stuck out to me, and I wish they had been a bit clearer about the intent of it. If anyone has a plausible explanation to offer, I would be more than willing to hear it.

(Btw, anyone else think that the luggage carrier things above the seats aren't locked very tight if they open that easily? Isn't the point of those things to keep the luggage from falling out? Srsly, get better locks.)

Cut to Mulder and Scully driving down the road. Upon Scully's inquiry, Mulder explains how the case was already investigated, and how he picked it up when it was dumped into the X-Files. Scully then shows us why she's not completely stupid, as she points out that the first three victims' autopsies say nothing about the identified marks, but the newest victim did, and she deduced that it was because all the victims had been autopsied by the same examiner, except for the most recent one.

Mulder: "That's pretty good, Scully."

Scully: "Better than you expected, or better than you hoped?"

Mulder: "Well, I'll let you know when we get past the easy part."

At this point, I am sure Mulder is still wary of Scully, but she hasn't done anything to really set off any alarms, and she's just shown him that she's not just a pretty face, but also a good agent. This scene shows good character development, methinks, as they aren't the Mulder&Scully dream team yet, but you can see how it progressed to that.

It's also awesome to note that Mulder is eating sunflower seeds, his favorite snack. I personally don't get how he can bite through the shell and get the seed. It's so tedious, and the reward isn't that great. One tiny seed? Pshaw. I just eat them whole.

But I digress.

The duo continues driving along when OHBAGAWSH THE RADIO GOES FUCKING CRAZY.

This is the spot I was talking about earlier, and this is why the plane thing doesn't make sense to me. The only thing that goes wacko here is the radio. The car itself is still running and driving smoothly, and even later, when they come to this spot again (which will be explained), the car loses power entirely. The plane just went wacko, and so far no evidence has shown that that is what happens when you pass through this area. So idk.

But alas, the plot continues. Mulder stops the car, pops the trunk, moves some suitcases around, and pulls out some red spray paint he keeps in his car. (Because that's normal.) He goes to the road and paints a big red 'X' on it. Scully is understandably like, "Wtf?", and Mulder is just like, "Oh… prolly nothin'", gives no real explanation, and they go on their merry way.

Cut to the grave yard.

Mulder and Scully meet up with some peeps who are going to exhume the body of the most recent victim for them, when a man pulls up and gets out. A young girl gets out with him, and the two have an argument. The man is trying to get the girl to get back in the car, but she very much does not want to.

Eventually she gives in, and the man approaches Scully and Mulder with a smile and warm welcome.

Loljk, the man is pissed as Hell, wanting to know why they would dig up the body without telling him. (So he must be important, if he expects to be informed of such things?)

Mulder wonders the same thing, as he asks him who he is. The man is identified as Dr. J Nemman.

Oh-em-gee, remember the dramatic close-up on the plane? Remember the name? Do you?

Yeah.

Mulder gets a little cheeky, but polite nonetheless, as he inquires as to why Dr. N didn't do the last autopsy, and Dr. N says, a little shakily, that he's been away. He is informed of the lumpy back things on the recent victim's autopsy, and Dr. N gets all defensive, accusing Mulder and Scully of insinuating that he had missed something on his autopsies of the other victims. Scully assures him that they aren't insinuating anything, and the girl in Dr. N's car (who is IDed as Dr. N's daughter) practically begs to go home, and reluctantly, the good doctor agrees. Mulder cracks a joke, and Mulder and Scully go on their merry way.

Cut to Mulder and Scully discussing the bizarre circumstances of the death of the body they are removing from the grave. On the autopsy report, it is said that the man died of exposure, which Mulder points out, makes no fucking sense because it was a summer night, and the boy wasn't too young or old to deal with being outside for a few hours.

The coffin-lifting-machine-thingy begins to take the coffin out of the grave when OHBAGAWSH THE ROPE/TIE/LIFTER STUFF BREAKS AND THE COFFIN FALLS OFF AND ROLLS DOWN THE HILL A LITTLE WAYS.

Mulder goes to open the already slightly cracked open coffin, and one of the workers mentions that it's "not normal procedure", which Mulder responses to with a "pshaw" type noise, which we can all take to mean, "Yeah, no shit."

Mulder opens the casket, and everyone is disgusted by what they see, which is a very decayed body.

The body is wrong. It isn't human. It has a big head, big eyes, and is short. (Kinda like, idk, an alien? Lolwut?) Mulder cracks a joke (which I think we can start assuming is something his character does with frequency, because it's like his bajillionth inappropriately placed joke in this episode alone, and we've barely hit the 15 minute marker), and then gets all srs bizz nizz on their asses, and demands that no one sees or touches the body.

Cut to Scully doing her very first autopsy on the show. Huzzah!

Mulder is all like, "Oh-em-wowz, this is fantastical!"

And Scully is all like, "I think it's a monkey."

Mulder gets angry at Scully for saying she thinks the body is a monkey, and Scully gets mad at Mulder for implying that the body is an extraterrestrial. At this point, the two agents, like I've said, aren't the duo they will be eventually, but this scene is a very classic example of their contrasting personalities going up against each other. They still aren't comfortable and 100% trusting, but this sort of thing, where Mulder is like, "It's this amazingly, fantabulous, out of this world (literally) thing!" and Scully is like, "No, it's this very reasonable, scientifically possible thing." is one of the ways these two interact from this very first episode, all the way up to I Want to Believe (which will from this moment on be referred to as IWTB).

Without this contrast, we wouldn't have the Mulder/Scully relationship we adore. Mulder gets Scully to consider possibilities she would never think of on her own, and Scully keeps Mulder at least partially grounded in reality. It's very important in how the running of the X-Files works, and in the social/personal aspect of their relationship.

It's just interesting to note that it's been the same since the very beginning.

Moving right along.

Oh, it's also important to note what Mulder says at the end of this scene, which is, "I'm not crazy, Scully. I have the same doubts you do." This is important because it shows us that, yes, Mulder has this reputation of being this man with wild and illogical ideas, who chases UFOs and aliens for a living, but really, he isn't blind to science and reason. It isn't that he is so obsessed with the paranormal that he refuses to accept any science discrediting what he postulates, but rather, he simply isn't closed off to the idea that there are some things that science has gotten around to proving yet.

It's small, but it's an important distinction to make.

Moving right along. For real this time.

In the next scene, we learn that during her autopsy, Scully found, and removed, a small metallic… thing out of the nasal cavity of the body. This is bizarre, because neither her, nor Mulder, knows what it is. That's all we're given about that, though. Well, that, and some dramatic music while Scully stares at it in the x-ray while we wait for the scene to change.

Cut to Raymon County State Psychiatric Hospital.

M&S are walking with some man, who is explaining that he had treated the monkey/alien body guy when he was alive and human at his psychiatric hospital for schizophrenia and ptsd, and that he had difficulty grasping reality. M&S ask him if he's treated any of alien/monkey boy's classmates before, and he says yes. Mulder explains that they're trying to find a connection between the deaths. Scully asks if they're treating any of these kids now, and the guy says yes.

Mulder and Scully ask if they can talk to these kids, and the guy is like, "Erm, well, yeah, but idk if they'll talk back", in more or less words. Cut to a boy lying in a bed looking pretty zonked out. This, X-Files watchers old and new, is our good friend Billy Miles. You should remember Billy Miles for the rest of your life. He's not a very regular character, but when he's there he's fairly important. I should note that everything you're seeing here, and in future episodes, is fair game to show up later as the series progresses. Forget nothing.

(And for you X-Files veterans, who are reading this for funsies, I just have to say that I very recently watched the end of season 7, and the end of season 8, and that makes looking back at this episode so weeeeeeeeeeeird. You know what I'm talking about. And n00bies, no worries, we'll get to that in good time.)

Moving right along.

So they meet Mr. Vegetable Miles, and sitting next to him is Peggy O'Dell. She's… not exactly there either, but at least she can talk. We learn that Billy and Peggy were in a car accident together, and that is why they are now more grocery store produce than young adults.

The guy asks Peggy if she wants to talk to Mulder and Scully, and she says she's reading to Billy. Mulder asks her if Billy likes it when she reads, and she says yes. Mulder then asks the guy if they can examine Peggy, and Peggy… well, basically she flips shit and starts throwing things and screaming. And then she gets a nosebleed.

Something I learned early on in my X-Files lifestyle? Nosebleeds = Bad things. Always. No matter what the cause. /Always./

Peggy freaks out at the sight of the blood, and throws herself on the floor. Mulder takes this opportunity to lift up her shirt. Not in a creepy way, of course, but in an investigator sort of way. He lifts up her shirt and OHBAGAWSH SHE HAS THE MARK THINGS! Mulder gives Scully a significant look, and she is very much taken by surprise and leaves abruptly. Mulder is a bit put off by this, and goes to follow her.

Outside the hospital, we see Scully going down the stairs very quickly (what the woman can do in heels never ceases to astound me), and Mulder cracking another inappropriately placed joke and following her at equal speed (which is less impressive, because he's wearing flat shoes).

We then get a little more proof that Mulder doesn't exactly trust or respect Scully, because when she asks him to tell her the truth he asks, "Why, so you can write it down in your little report? I don't think you're ready for what I think." I could elaborate about that, but I think I've more than already covered it.

Long story short, Scully gets angry, and insists that she's just trying to solve the case. Mulder tells her he thinks the kids have been abducted, and Scully is like, "Hellz naw, don't be stupid," and Mulder is like, "Give me a better explanation," and because she can't, Scully asks a series of questions about why the people keep going and dying in the woods under bizarre circumstances.

Cut to the woods.

In a getup of true early 90's fashion, Mulder and Scully split up and begin to search the woods. Mulder notices that his compass is a little wacky, but is just kinda like, "Huh. Weird." and goes on with his search.

Scully comes across some weird dirt stuff. She picks up a handful and puts it in her pocket.

Then OHBAGAWSH THERE'S A WEIRD RUMBLING SOUND! OHBAGAWSH THE MUSIC IS GETTING DRAMATIC! OHBAGAWSH SCULLY IS CALLING OUT FOR MULDER AND PULLING OUT HER GUN AND THE RUMBLING IS LOUDER AND THERE IS A WHITE LIGHT AND A EERIE DARK FIGURE AND OH NOES IT MUST BE AN ALIEN SCULLY IS ABOUT TO GET ABDUCTED RUN SCULLY RUUUUUU- oh wait it's a truck and some guy with a rifle.

Scully points her gun at Mr. Man-With-Rifle (who I believe we saw at the beginning of the episode- he was the one who knew who Karen Swenson was, remember?), shouting, "Agent Scully, FBI!", which I believe is the first time she's done this, so yay for another first, and Mr. Man-With-Rifle is all like, "Hey, GTFO of the forest."

Scully protests, and Mulder shows up out of nowhere, also brandishing a gun, and he backs her up. They argue that the forest is a crime scene, and they are federal agents, so they have the right to be there and stuff, and Mr. Man-With-Rifle is like, "Um, no." He very pointedly tells them to "get in your car and leave!", and thus, Mulder and Scully have no other option but to put down their guns quite sheepishly, and get into their car without another word.

Cut to M&S driving down a street in the pouring rain.

Mulder wonders aloud about why Mr. Man-With-Rifle was out in the forest, and Scully says, "Maybe it has something to do with this," and shows Mulder the dirt-like stuff she took from the ground earlier. Mulder examines it. They briefly discuss what it might be, and Scully points out the obvious by saying, "I think something is going on around here," in which everyone watching replies with a courteous "No shit."

Scully keeps talking, but Mulder's mind is elsewhere, as he takes out his compass and checks his watch, which reads 9:03. (Anyone else notice how Mulder can drive so well without looking at the road for fairly substantial moments of time?) Scully notices that Mulder isn't listening and asks what's up. Mulder, still looking otherwise occupied, is like, "Uh, yeah, I'm just…"

And then OBAGAWSH… erm… obagawsh… uh…?

There is a flash of light, which causes M&S to look away, and then time just sort of… freezes?

Everything goes back to normal, except for the car, which is now dead.

Scully: "What happened?"

Mulder: "We lost power, brakes, steering, everything…" Mulder checks his watch. "We lost nine minutes!"

Mulder gets out of the car and starts hooting like a crazy person, completely ecstatic. Scully, understandably like "wtf?", says, "We lost what?", and Mulder says, louder this time, "Nine minutes!" as if that makes it make more sense.

He then explains that before the car went dead he checked his watch and it had been 9:03, and now it just turned 9:13.

Mulder: "Abductees! People who have made UFO sightings have reported unexplained time loss."

Scully: "Come on."

Scully starts to walk away, obviously annoyed.

Mulder: "Gone! Just like that!"

Scully: "Wait a minute… You're saying time just disappeared. Time just can't disappear! It's a universal invariant!"

The car suddenly comes back to life.

Mulder: "Not in this zip code."

Cut to a computer screen where Scully is writing a report about how she can't validate Mulder's claims of time loss. The storm then causes the power to go out.

Scully then, by candlelight, goes into the bathroom in a robe to take a bath. She strips down to her bra and underwear, and is about to remove her panties, but before we get to see some Scully ass she finds something on her lower back and sort of freaks the fuck out.

Cut to a scene that never ceases to amuse me.

Mulder gets a knock on his hotel room door, and is surprised to see that it's Scully in a bathrobe.

"I need you to look at something," she tells him. He's confused, but is like, "Uh…k." and lets her come inside.

A bit nervous, but determined to get to the bottom of things (so to speak), Scully, well, takes off her robe and reveals her almost completely nude body to Mulder, who is sort of like, "o.O" for all but two seconds (you have to watch closely, but it's there), and then gets down to examine her lower back with a candle.

Cue dramatic music as we see two little bumps on Scully's back. "What are they Mulder?" She's frantic. Are they the marks that the other kids had? Is Scully going to DIE? WHAT ARE THEY?

"Mosquito bites," Mulder says, chuckling.

Scully: "Are you sure?"

Mulder assures her that, yes, he's sure, and Scully puts her robe back on, and throws herself on Mulder's shoulder in relief. Mulder gives her a nice little pat on the back and makes sure she's okay.

I love this scene, because, well, first off, it's fucking funny. She's known the guy for about two or three days, and he's already seen her mostly naked. But also it shows us the maturity of both characters, as they are in this slightly awkward situation, and neither one of them really gets too giddy or tense because of it. When it's serious, it's all bizz nizz, and both Mulder and Scully know this.

And of course, the development of their relationship is getting stronger here as well, as this scene shows that they are getting more comfortable and trusting with each other, and it leads to the scene that I am going to discuss next. The following conversation is rather important, so I'm going to quote it, and discuss it line by line.

Mulder: "I was twelve when it happened. My sister was eight. She just disappeared out of her bed one night. Just gone. Vanished. No note. No phone calls. No evidence of anything."

This is the first time we hear Mulder discuss anything about his personal life, and right now he's discussing how his sister disappeared when he was little. Obviously, it still bothers him, and here in a second we'll find out why it's so substantial.

Scully: "You never found her?"

Mulder goes on for a minute, about how her disappearance disrupted his family. The scene cuts briefly to a suspicious looking person sneaking around outside M&S's hotel rooms.

Scully: "What did you do?"

Mulder: "Eventually I went off to school in England, I came back, got recruited by the bureau. Seems I had a natural aptitude for applying behavioral models to criminal cases. My success allowed me a certain freedom to pursue my own interests. That's when I came across the X-Files."

Here we learn some interesting facts about Mulder. He attended school in England, for one, and was actually recruited by the bureau, because he is skilled in equating behavioral problems to crimes. This is his specialty, and it comes up later in the series. Mulder isn't the wacko everyone thinks he is. He's actually a very skilled and intelligent person, who happens to have an interest in the paranormal. Why? We're about to find out.

Scully: "By accident?"

Mulder: "At first it looked like a garbage dump for UFO sightings, alien abduction reports, the kind of stuff people laugh at as being ridiculous, but I was fascinated. I read all the cases I could get my hands on, hundreds of them. I read everything I could about paranormal phenomenon, about the occult, and…"

Scully: "What?"

At this point, Mulder is hesitant, not quite sure if he should tell Scully what he's thinking or not. He decides to do so, however, and here's what he says:

Mulder: "There's classified government information I've been trying to access, but someone is blocking my attempts to get at it."

Again with firsts (I guess that happens a lot in pilot episodes =/), we get to hear Mulder talking about government interference with his work. Earlier, when he met Scully, he was wary because she thought "they" sent her to spy on him, and we're starting to get a clearer picture as to why.

Scully: "Who? I don't understand."

Scully, really and truly, doesn't seem to have any idea as to what Mulder is talking about.

Mulder: "Someone at a higher level of power. The only reason I've been able to continue with my work is because I've made connections in congress."

Here we see that the government interference is strong enough that, had he not made other connections, they would have taken him off of the X-Files to protect whatever it is they are protecting. What could they possibly have that they don't want Mulder to know?

Scully: "And they're afraid of what? That you'll leak this information?"

Scully is still very innocently unaware of what Mulder's implications are. Mulder is about to demonstrate that he doesn't believe that she really is.

Mulder: "You're a part of that agenda, you know that."

He just directly accused Scully of being a part of an agenda the government has put together to prevent Mulder from getting a hold of, and leaking, whatever information they are withholding from him. Scully responds to this in the following way:

Scully: "I'm not a part of any agenda. You've got to trust me. I'm here, just like you, to solve this."

Scully really doesn't have any clue about any agenda or classified information. We know she's telling the truth. But we can't necessarily blame Mulder for his assumptions. In all fairness, they /did/ assign her to debunk the X-Files, but the directors in charge didn't count on, well, A.) Scully being open to any bizarre phenomenon, or B.) Mulder's work having any basis in fact. Scully isn't going to dismiss all of Mulder's theories out of hand if he has a way to back it up, and this is what she wants him to understand. She is trustworthy. Perhaps the only trustworthy person Mulder really has in the FBI. (But we'll get to "trust no one" later. ;) )

Mulder: "I'm telling you this, Scully, because you need to know, because of what you've seen. In my research I've worked very closely with a man named Dr. *noideahowtospellit* and he's taken me through deep regression hypnosis. I've been able to go into deep, repressed memories to the night my sister disappeared. I can recall a bright light outside, and a presence in the room. I was paralyzed, unable to respond to my sister's calls for help. Listen to me Scully! This thing exists!"

Scully: "But how do you-"

Mulder: "The government knows about it! And I've gotta know what they're protecting. Nothing else matters to me, and this is the closest I've ever gotten to it."

Ta-da, here we get to see Mulder basically flat-out explain why he's so obsessive. Basically, Mulder's story is this: He's 10, his sister disappears, he represses the memory. He grows older, goes to England, comes back, joins the FBI and does good things. He finds the X-Files, is interested in what they say, gets obsessive with them and starts to lose respect from peers. During his investigations into the X-Files, he works with a doctor who does hypnosis on him and makes him remember that, hey, his sister was abducted! Now all the work he's been doing seems that much more urgent and important. He then realizes that whatever this whole abduction/UFO thing is about, the government knows about it. Now he's completely obsessive, and nothing else matters to him but an explanation of all of this, and finding his sister. The truth.

It all starts with his sister. Remember that forever, because it will never go away.

Ever.

Moving on.

This deep and plot-helpful conversation is cut short by the telephone. Mulder answers, and it's some chick telling him that Peggy O'Dell, the not-quite-there girl in the wheelchair at the psychiatric hospital, is now deceased. M&S are understandably "wtf?", and go off to investigate.

Cut to Rural Highway, 133 in Bellefleur, Oregon.

There are ambulances and firefighters and police everywhere. M&S drive up and get out of the car. Mulder approaches two men, one uniformed, the other the man who ran over Peggy, and demands to know what happened. The man that ran over Peggy is like, "She ran right in front of me."

"She was running? On foot?" Mulder is shocked, because if we recall (which I hope you do, because I said it two paragraphs ago), Peggy was confined to a wheelchair.

Cut to Scully looking at the rather bloodied up corpse of Peggy O'Dell. It looks like a regular ol' car vs. human case, but Scully notices that Peggy's watch stopped at about 9:03. That ring a bell? It should.

When she finds Mulder, he's angry, telling her that they're going back to the hotel, and that someone stole the monkey/alien corpse and trashed the autopsy lab. They get back to their hotel, and WHUPS! It's on fire.

Scully: "There goes my computer!"

Mulder: "DAMNIT! The x-rays and pictures!"

Pretty much all of the evidence that they have accumulated throughout this case has now been destroyed. Coincidence? I would think not.

While M&S are standing there all pissed and stuff, a girl comes up to them, and says, "My name is Teresa Nemman. You've got to protect me!"

(For the record, I /hate/ her voice.)

Cut to a diner where Teresa is explaining that every night she ends up in the woods with no recollection on how she got there. She says that it's been happening to her ever since she graduated, and to her friends as well. She's afraid that she's going to die. We find out that Teresa's father, the moody doctor from earlier, knows about this, but told her never to talk about it, in hopes of protecting her, but Teresa doesn't think he can keep her safe.

Mulder: "Do you have the marks, Teresa?"

Teresa: "…Yes. I'm going to die, aren't I? I'm going to be next."

Scully: "No, you're not going to die."

Teresa: *massive nosebleed*

(Remember, nosebleeds=bad, always.)

Actually, a brief nosebleed related thing. I think I forgot to mention at the start of this that when the police are examining Karen Swenson's body, that she had had a nosebleed before she died. Also, and it's sort of hard to tell because she was all bloody from the car accident, but Peggy also looked as though she could have had one too.

So again I stress: Nosebleeds=bad. Always.

Enter Dr. N and Mr. Man-With-Rifle.

Dr. N tells Teresa it's time to go, and yells at Mulder. He then IDs Mr. Man-With-Rifle as Detective Miles.

Mulder: "You're Billy Miles' father?"

Detective Miles: "That's right. You stay away from that boy."

Cut to Teresa being taken away by her father. So much for protecting her, I guess.

Mulder: "Gotta love this place. Every day's like Halloween!"

(Inappropriately placed joke number six billion.)

Scully is all like, "They know who did this!" and Mulder's like, "Yeah, well, maybe. They know something at least." And Scully is like, "They destroyed the evidence!" And Mulder is like, "Why, though?" and then, "Makes you wonder what's in those other two graves…"

Cut to the cemetery where someone else evidently also wanted to know what was in the other two graves because, LOL, they're gone too.

Wut?

Scully: "What is going on here?"

I'm with you Scully. How the eff do you steal two coffins from underneath the ground in a public cemetery without someone noticing?

Suddenly Mulder is all like, "o.O".

Mulder: "I think I know who did it. I think I know who killed Karen Swenson."

Scully: "Who? The detective?"

Mulder: "The detective's son. Billy Miles."

For the record, I'm not really sure what causes Mulder to suddenly jump to this conclusion, but I guess it's best not to question.

Scully: "The boy in the hospital? The vegetable?"

Scully is like, "Uh, Mulder, the boy's been in a coma for a really long time." and Mulder is like, "Yeah, well, Peggy was confined to wheelchair, and that didn't really stop her, now did it?" and "This fits a profile of alien abductions!"

The two argue for a minute, Mulder saying that something must have happened during those nine minutes they lost earlier, and finally he is like, "You think I'm crazy."

But then Scully is like, "Uh, but wait a sec, cuz Peggy's watch stopped a little after nine."

Mulder: "That's the reason the kids come to the forest! Because the forest controls them, it summons them there! And the marks are from some kind of test that is being done on them, which then might cause some kind of genetic mutation, which would explain the body that we dug up."

Scully: "And the forest summoned Teresa Nemman's body in the woods tonight."

Mulder: "Yes! But it was Billy Miles who took her there. Summoned by some alien impulse."

Scully gets all giddy like a school girl, and Mulder says that they're gonna get out of the cemetery and go to the psychiatric hospital to visit our buddy Mr. Billy Miles.

Cut to the hospital, where a nurse is going on and on about how Billy couldn't have gotten out of the bed, and that she would have known if he had. Mulder is talking to her when Scully finds something bizarre on Billy's feet.

She calls Mulder over to her, he looks at it, the nurse cracks a really rather offensive joke, M&S collect a sample of whatever, and they go on their merry way.

In the hallway Scully is going bat shit insane because, oh-em-gee, the stuff on Billy Miles' feet is the same stuff she had taken from the forest. Billy must be the murderer! Mulder makes sure she realizes what it is she's saying, though, and suggests that they do a comparison of the samples. Scully is like, "The fire destroyed the other sample, besides you said this yourself." And Mulder is like, "Well, yeah, but I don't have to report back to anyone."

Scully then agrees to go back to the forest to get another sample to run a comparison of, just so she has solid proof to put into her report.

So, high-ho, it's back to the woods we go!

To cut a long story short, they get to the woods, and see the detective's truck. They then hear Teresa's screams come from inside the woods. They run into the forest, dramatic and fast music following them all the way, and they split up. Det. Miles hits Scully over the head with a rifle, sending her to the ground. Cut to Mulder going toward the screams, and out of nowhere, Det. Miles pops up and aims his rifle at him. Mulder is like, "Dude, don't let this happen again. He's gonna kill her!" and Det. Miles, reluctantly, goes toward the screams as well.

Cut to Billy holding Teresa in a big circle of leaves. Det. Miles is like, "NO BILLY!" and aims to shoot at him, but Mulder shoves him down and prevents it. Things are getting more dramatic. Scully hears the rifle go off when Mulder shoved the detective, and goes towards it. The leaves are going fucking crazy, and there is a white light. OBAGAWSH IT'S GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN, THINGS ARE GOING INSANE, OH NOES BILLY HAS THE MARKS, OH NOES, THE LIGHT IS GETTING BRIGHTER, AND BRIGHTER, AND EVERYONE IS WATCHING, AND BILLY HAS TERESA, AND THE LIGHT IS SO BRIGHT THAT THE SCREEN IS WHITE, ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND… nothing happens.

Everything goes back to normal, Teresa is on the ground, quite alive, and Billy is just sorta standing there. He looks up, and says, "Dad?" showing us that he is no longer a tomato.

HUZZAAAAAAAAwut?

The marks on his back, which we were shown earlier, are also gone.

Cut to a bunch of people interrogating Billy. He talks about the abduction of him and his friends. He was, evidently, taken by aliens, had a communication device put his nose, and told to gather the others for tests. He also was told to destroy everything. Cut to a bunch of men from the FBI watching a tape of the interrogation of Billy Miles. Mulder gives Scully a significant look as Billy explains that he is afraid of the aliens coming back.

(Oh hey, anyone else see that smoking man? Weeeeeeeeeeird.)

Cut to Scully talking to the director guy from the beginning of the episode. He basically tells her that he doesn't see how any of her report makes any sense because she can't prove a damn thing. Scully then pulls out the nose-communication device-thing from out of her pocket, which was the only thing not destroyed in the fire, and gives it to the director, saying that the materials of it couldn't be identified.

Scully leaves the room, and walks past a man in the hallway.

(Now who is that mysterious smoking man? He's just so… interesting…)

Cut to Scully lying in bed, staring at the clock, which is 11:21. (X-Files fun fact: Chris Carter liked to put the clock at 11:21, because it is his wife's birthday.)

Her phone rings, and it's Mulder, talking about how everything on Billy Miles is pretty much gone, and that they need to talk, which I take to mean that he's trusting her now, which is nice. Scully agrees that they need to talk, but tomorrow, and then hangs up sort of abruptly.

Cut to that mysterious man I was telling you to look out for walking down an aisle of really big file drawers. He goes to one, takes out the nose-communication device thing Scully had given the director, and puts it in a file with other nose-communication device things, and exits. The door shuts behind him, and we see that he is in the Pentagon.

Huh, so ol' Mr. Smoky has access to the Pentagon? He must be an important government official or something... We'll keep an eye out. That was a little suspicious, wouldn't you say?

And we are done with the pilot episode. One episode down, nine seasons and two movies to go. Huzzah. =/

Something the Star Trek commentary thing I read does is a scoring of things that happen frequently in the series. For example, number of red shirts who die, etc. I thought I'd employ a similar system, because it's fun to see. So here is the first set of scores. They will be cumulative, in terms of episode, season, and series. Here we go:

SCORE:

Times Mulder is seen eating sunflower seeds: 1

Times all or most of the agents' evidence is destroyed/taken/forgotten: 1

Times someone dies in the first three minutes of the episode: 1

Times the clock reads "11:21": 1

Times someone gets a nosebleed: 3 (I only count Peggy as having one nosebleed, because the potential other one is too uncertain.)

Number of inappropriately placed jokes: six billion

More will be added at my discretion. I'll make sure to keep the score accurate if I add things. No worries. ^.^

Teh Endz.

-: )


	2. Chapter 2

**Season 1; Episode 2**

**Deep Throat**

Our story starts out near Ellens Air Base in southwest Idaho.

Some shit is going down. There are armed soldiers in the yard of a domestic looking house. There is a crowd of people watching as they prepare to break in. We see a woman crying out "That's my house!" clearly unaware of who these soldiers are and why they are trying to break in.

One of the soldiers, who IDs the woman as Mrs. Budahas, explains to her (and us) that Mrs. B's husband has violated some sort of security thing, commandeered a military vehicle, and is believed to be armed.

The soldiers get inside of the house, and start calling out for Mr. Budahas. They get to a closed door, bust it open, point their gun, annnnnnnd…

Nameless soldier reports back to other nameless solider outside: "We got him, but he's gonna need a doctor… or something."

They have found Mr. Budahas, but he isn't violent, armed, or even wearing clothes. In fact, he is curled up on the floors, knees drawn up, shaking uncontrollably, looking completely zonked out and terrified, with what looks to be a really nasty rash of sorts. Like, /really/ nasty.

Titles!

We have a theme song, everyone! Huzzah! Here is the first time we get to listen to the classic theme song, created by the genius that is Mark Snow. Let us revel in it for a moment, shall we?

…

…..

…..

Okay, enough of that. Back from titles, and we are now in Washington D.C.

We join Agent Scully in a bar somewhere in town, where she is soon approached by a personal space-oblivious Mulder, who apologizes for being late, and asks if he can buy her a drink. She notes that it's two o'clock in the afternoon, which Mulder doesn't seem to care about, but drops the idea and gets down to why he's really here.

He has something to show her. Something he couldn't show her at work. They get a table.

As they are finding said table, the music gets dramatic as the camera passes by a man watching Mulder out of the corner of his eye. Hey now, that can't be accidental! But at the moment, that is not the matter at hand.

Cut to Mulder showing us a picture of the uniformed, non-rash infested Robert Budahas. He was a test pilot for the military in Southwest Idaho.

Mulder goes on to explain that four months ago, Mr. Budahas experienced a psychotic episode (which we saw a few minutes ago), and was taken and put in a military hospital for treatment. But Mrs. Budahas has not seen from her husband since he was taken, and the military won't comment on the matter at all. Not to her; not to anyone. Scully asks why the military would kidnap their own pilot, and Mulder is all like, "Good question, let me give you a history lecture real fast."

Mulder basically explains that this is not the first instance of this sort of "kidnapping". Since 1963, there have been reports of it in this area of Idaho. The military never makes a comment more than saying that the pilots "accepted the risks of flying experimental aircraft". What's more, is that Mulder has been tracking this case since it came to the bureau, and it has very recently, with no explanation, gotten shelved without an investigation.

So what does this mean for our heroes?

Why, it means that /they're/ going to investigate it of course!

Scully: "I don't get it Mulder. Does this have something to do with an X-File? I thought you only like those paranormal cases."

Mulder: "Let's just say that this case has a distinct smell to it. A sort of… paranormal boutique. Excuse me."

He gets up to go to the bathroom, leaving Scully staring after him like he's nuts.

Cut to the restroom where Mulder is washing his hands staring into a big mirror with no one behind him. He bends down to wash his face, the mirror no longer in view, and when he stands up, there is a man behind him in the reflection.

Holy predictability, Batman!

It's the man we had seen briefly before. The one watching Mulder in the bar. What's his deal? Has he come to corner Mulder in the men's room and demand homosexual intercourse? His name /is/ Deep Throat, after all…

But alas, I dare say 'tis not the case.

Okay, since I just sorta gave it away for a cheap joke, yes, this is Deep Throat. In case the episode name was misleading, Deep Throat is a pronoun, not a verb. His first line of the series:

Deep Throat: "Leave this case alone, Agent Mulder."

Mulder: *In true melodrama fashion* "WHAT?"

Deep Throat: "The military will not tolerate an FBI investigation."

Mulder: *Not David's best acting here* "*dramatic sigh* Who are you?"

Deep Throat: "I… can be of help to you. I've had a certain interest in your work."

Mulder: "How do you know about my work?"

Deep Throat: *Chuckle* "Let's just say I'm in a position to know quite a lot of things. Things about our government."

Mulder: "Who are you? Who do you work for?"

Deep Throat: "It's unimportant. I've come here to give you some valuable advice. You are exposing yourself and Agent Scully to unnecessary risk. I advise you to drop the case."

Mulder: "I can't do that."

Deep Throat: "You have much work to do. Don't jeopardize the future of your own efforts."

Deep Throat leaves the bathroom, closely followed by Mulder, who practically wrestles a man to get through the doorway, and once he gets out… whups! Deep Throat is gone, leaving Mulder bewildered, looking around the bar like a dumbass.

Huh, that was quite the normal bathroom encounter… only not.

Scully approaches Mulder and asks him if he's alright. Mulder is suddenly all smiles, and assures her that, yes, he's fine.

It should be noted here that the M&S relationship is basically the one we recognize. They trust each other, and care about each other, which can be determined by the way they have interacted with each other thus far in the episode. The fact that Mulder didn't just straight out tell Scully about what Deep Throat said doesn't indicate a lack of trust, but rather, he doesn't want any reason for him to be talked out of going to Idaho to investigate this case, which clearly means a great deal to him. For all intents and purposes, they are the M&S dream team we all know and love. Huzzah.

Cut to FBI headquarters.

Scully is looking through old newspaper articles, trying to find out more about why Mulder is sending them to Idaho to investigate this seemingly un-X-File related case. She comes across information about how Idaho is supposedly a UFO hot spot, and she is a bit miffed by this.

Cut to Mulder cooking in his kitchen… Wait. Mulder has a kitchen? Damn, it /has/ been a while since I've watched these first episodes. I'm used to the Mulder apartment where pretty much the only room is the living room, which doesn't mean squat to you n00bies, but should make sense to the veterans.

Ah, but I digress.

Mulder is in his *shrug* kitchen, when his phone rings. He goes to answer it, and it's Scully, calling to make sure Mulder isn't sending her on some sort of UFO chase. Mulder is otherwise occupied, however, as there are strange clicking noises coming from the phone.

Scully continues to bitch, telling him that they are already on thin ice with the bureau, probably because of the whole Billy Miles thing and how Scully's report had lacked so much credibility, and she doesn't want another report making her sound like a lunatic. Mulder is still not really listening as he looks out his window and sees someone in a van that would make all creeping pedophiles green with envy. He tells Scully he doesn't want to talk about it on this line, and that he'll talk to her on the flight out. He hangs up abruptly, and looks a little confuzzled as he checks his phone over briefly.

Cut to Marriette Field, southwest Idaho.

Mulder and Scully knock on the door of the house that we saw at the beginning of the episode. A really loud plane flies overhead, and M&S are both distracted by it. Mrs. Budahas opens the door, Mulder says they're from the FBI, and Mrs. B must be expecting them, because she's like, "Oh, yes, come in," and they go inside.

Cut to Mrs. B's living room where she is describing what exactly had been going down with her hubbie for the past two years. Evidentially it started with a rash, which had been mistaken as just a reaction to chemicals they were using to renovate their house. Then his behavior started to change, and he was angry for no reason, and fucking crazy for no reason. He would yell, shake, and put fish food flakes on his food in front of company. Clearly he was not in his right mind.

Mulder asks Mrs. B if her husband ever discussed work, and she's all like, "Oh hellz naw, that wasn't a topic of conversation even before he went bat shit insane. All I know is that he worked on top secret projects, and that he was loyal, and now the military is treating my family like shit. I just want mah hubbie."

…In more or less words.

Mulder then asks if she knows of anyone else who this has happened too, and she says that it also happened to Verla McClinnon (or something that sounds similar to that).

Cut to a man pulling out his hair to tie stuff together.

Scully and some woman who is soon IDed as Mrs. M, are watching him through the window, and Mrs. M says, quite cheerfully, that her husband has been bat shit insane like this for almost two years, but it's okay, because at least he's alive.

Mrs. M goes on being all, "Oh military is good, my husband is good, their work is good," to Mulder, and then as she starts to walk away we get to hear her say to Mrs. B, "Really Anita, bringing the FBI to my house!", so that clearly she's not as peachy and cheery as she wants us to believe.

We get one more shot of Mr. McCrazy, and the scene cuts to outside Mrs. B's house where she's giving M&S a paper with numbers, presumably to the Military base and stuffs, and M&S go on their merry way.

Mulder asks Scully what she made of Mr. McCrazy, and she says that he suffers from some sort of ailment that I can't for the life of me figure out how to spell (something like Stereotopy, or something), which is brought on by extreme stress. Scully is like, "They studied this on zoo animals," and Mulder makes the legitimate observation that, hey! These are people, not zoo animals, and they are trained not to go bat shit insane under pressure, so that doesn't make sense.

Scully then asks him if he's heard of something called the Aurora Project. Mulder, fairly nonchalantly, is like, "Yeah, that's the unofficial name for some sort of new defense surveillance project, or some shit.", and Scully is like, with much more enthusiasm than Mulder, "The government has basically said that they are doing testing these new spy-plane things. Maybe these people are flying these planes, and washed out of it and that's why they kidnapped them." Mulder points out that Mr. Budahas was very distinguished, and would never falter on any project, and the scene ends.

Cut to a motel room where both Mulder and Scully are having quite a bit of difficulty getting a hold of any of the people on Mrs. B's list. Scully mentions someone by the name "Kissel", who had made a really ambiguous, shady appointment with her, and Mulder then takes it upon himself to Yellow Page that bitch up.

Cut to Colonel Kissel's house.

M&S basically ambush him in his driveway, and at first he is just confused as to who these two people are, but once Mulder introduces himself as /Agent/ Mulder, Colonel K gets completely tight lipped, and basically tells them to fuck off. He goes inside, and out of nowhere a man from the newspaper approaches our heroes.

The newspaper guy tries to get some information out of M&S, trying to figure out what they know about Mr. B's disappearance. Mulder is now being the bitchy, tight-lipped one, however, and isn't giving up any info. Somehow UFO fanatics are brought up, which perks Mulder's interest, and he, sort of jokingly, sort of not, asks the reporter if he's ever seen a UFO. The reporter says never, and that only crazy people believe that. Mulder asks where he can find these people (note Scully look highly annoyed at this prospect there in the background), and we cut scene to a restaurant called "The Flying Saucer".

Inside the restaurant we hear another one of those fighter plane things fly by, and M&S are still not used to it (which I don't really get), and they freak out, while the woman working the counter is like "Oh, those hot shot pilots. They're so full of it, yadayadayada."

Mulder then observes all the pictures of various UFOs behind the woman, hanging up on the wall, and asks who took them. She tells him, and then says that she took the one on the end, which is a picture of a triangular like object in the sky. She says she took it on the back porch while it was just hovering in the sky. Mulder is all like, "o.O!" and Scully is all like, " -.-", and they observe the photo.

The woman says that she's selling prints of it if they're interested, and Mulder tells her to put on his tab, which then causes Scully to lean in close to him and say, "Sucker!" in a hushed whisper. Mulder then asks the woman what the chances of him seeing a UFO are, and Scully more or less storms out.

Cut to outside The Flying Saucer, where Scully is looking at a map.

Scully: "Want to see something weird, Mulder? Ellens air base isn't even on my US/GS quadrant map."

Mulder: "I know. Let's go."

Scully: "You know? Where are we going?"

Mulder hands Scully a napkin with directions written on it.

Mulder: "We've got our own map… sucker."

Cut to outside Ellens Air Base at 6:04 pm.

M&S are driving into an area that has a sign that reads "WARNING: This area is a restricted military installation to the west", so of course they keep driving right past it. They pull up sometime later to a big security fence, where Scully is like, "GRAR! WHY ARE WE HERE? LOOKING FOR UFOS AND SHIT? YEAH, THIS'LL LOOK GREAT ON MY REPORT!", and Mulder just ignores her and climbs up a hill.

Cut to nighttime, where Scully is asleep in the car outside the same security fence. All of a sudden, things start shaking and OBAGAWSH THE BACK WINDOW EXPLODES! Which, of course, causes Scully to jolt awake, and look around horrified. Mulder then comes out of nowhere, yelling something to the effect of, "COME ON SCULLY, YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS!"

He takes her to the top of a hill where we see these really weird looking light things. (Which, in all honesty, look like poorly made computer effects, but hey, that's 1993 for you.) They discuss what they might be, all the while watching them with astute awe. Mulder is slightly irritated that Scully doesn't believe they're UFOs (she thinks they may be lasers or some shit), but they don't have time to argue, because all of a sudden the lights disappear, and they are like, "WTF?"

Another light comes out of nowhere, and they think that maybe it's another UFOy thing, but… whups! It's a helicopter. M&S then notice two teenagers crawl out from under the bush by their car, and they chase them. They catch up with the teens, who claim that they didn't do anything. The helicopter then closes in on them, and Mulder is like, "Come on!" and they run away.

Cut to a restaurant, where Mulder and Scully are talking to these very "radical" teens. They ask them what they were doing in the bushes, and the teens sort of giggle and are like, "We were just listenin' to some tunes and watching the air show like usual, bro!" (in more or less words), and Mulder asks if they were ever chased out like that before, and the male teen is like, "No dude! Weird right?"

The two teens thing go on to explain, with excessive amounts of "radical" slang, and visual representations with hamburgers, how they discovered this spot about a year ago, and how they had heard about this place called the Yellow Base where all these aircraft things are supposedly stored heavily guarded. Mulder asks them what they think the crafts are, and the boy is like, "Idk, everybody thinks they're like, UFOs or something, but I think it's some sort of new fangled plane weaponry Star Wars like thing,"… in more or less words. Mulder whips out his twenty dolla' UFO pic, and asks them if the crafts they've seen look anything like it.

Mulder: "Did they look anything like this?"

Teen Guy: "No… They look /exactly/ like that."

Oh, and in the middle of this conversation, the scene cuts to the parking lot where some man in a car is talking to someone via walkie-talkie, but they're speaking in code, so we don't really understand what they're saying.

Cut to later, where Mulder is saying goodbye to our radical teens. He gets into the car with Scully, who is like, "Oh-em-gee, I can't believe how gullible you are, they were so fucking stoned."

Mulder then whips out a picture from his case file folder. Oh-em-gee, it's a picture of a UFO that looks remarkably similar to the one in the pic. he purchased at The Flying Saucer. He explains to Scully that the picture from the case file was taken in 1947, and was related to the supposed UFO crashes in Roswell. Scully is like, "Riiiiight," and Mulder is like, "Hear me out." He continues on, saying that Ellens Air Base is one of the reported places to have had UFO crash remnants left behind in it. He then clues us in to the idea that has been brewing in his head, which is that he thinks that the military are creating aircraft using UFO technology.

Scully is basically like, "I don't believe you." and then reminds us all that there was an original plot here, by basically asking, where the fuck is Mr. Budahas?

Cut to the motel reception office, where Scully receives a message. She runs over to Mulder's motel room, where she announces that Mr. Budahas came home last night.

…What?

Cut to the Budahas residence.

Mrs. B answers the door in tears, and then leads M&S to a room and says, rather definitively, "That is not my husband."

Mr. B, who is sitting down in a rather hideous chair, looks up and asks who these strangers in his house are. Mulder looks up at a picture of Mr. B on the wall, and then back at Mr. B in the chair, obviously confused because, well, he /looks/ like Mr. Budahas.

Back from commercial where Mrs. B is still adamant, assuring them that this is in fact, /not/ her husband, and that they did something to him.

Mulder then coerces Mr. B into a rousing game of twenty questions, where he asks him a bunch of questions about his home life, and his interests. He passes with flying colors, knowing his kids' names, stuff about the Packers, and his birthday (which should be noted, is the same as Chris Carter's wife's). Mrs. B is still like, "Oh hellz naw!", so Mulder proceeds to ask him a question about airplanes; a question he should know right off the top of his head.

Only he doesn't know right off the top of his head.

In fact, he doesn't know the answer at all.

He can't remember.

Cut to outside where Mulder is telling Scully that he thinks that Mr. B has had his brain rewired so that he remembers some things, but has forgotten others. Scully is like, "Uh, that's not medically/scientifically possible," and Mulder is like, "Yeah, well, neither were those aircraft things we saw last night."

On the road, they are still discussing this matter. Scully wants to know why, even if it were possible, they would rewire Mr. B's head in the first place. Mulder thinks that Mr. B had become a security risk, and they had to make him forget certain things. He again brings up the UFO technology, which just tickles Scully into oblivion.

Her giggles are short lived, however, as they are soon nearly driven off the road by a bunch of men in black suits.

The men in black?

Not quite. But we don't get told who they are at all, really. They ask M&S to get out of the car. Mulder makes an inappropriately placed joke, and they leave the car.

Immediately, before they even get to whip out their badges, the men in suits are pinning them up against the car, and taking and destroying all of their evidence and case files. They then tell Mulder and Scully that this is a matter of national security, and that they will be escorted back to their motel.

Cut to the motel.

Scully is on the phone, trying to trace the license plates of the people who had stopped them earlier, but it turns out that they had been driving under false licenses. Mulder then admits to Scully that he thinks that these people have been watching them, and that they had been chasing the two of them, instead of the teenagers, out of the base the night before. He then finally comes clean about his confrontation with Deep Throat, and about the fact that his phone had been tapped. He wants to know why "they" would go to so much trouble to make sure that they didn't find anything.

Mulder: "I think there's a huge conspiracy here, Scully. They've got a UFO here, I'm sure of it. And they'll do anything to keep it a secret. Even sacrificing the lives and minds of those pilots, because what if that secret got out?"

Scully: "If… /if/ that were true, it would be a national scandal."

Mulder: "No, you're not thinking big enough. If it were true, it would be conformation of the existence of extraterrestrial life."

The two of them argue for a minute more, until Scully is finally like, "This isn't our business. We need to get out of here while you still have a job." Mulder holds up the picture of the UFO, and asks Scully if she's even curious. She gives him a "Bitch, please," look, and Mulder gets the hint. He tells her that he's going to go shower and pack and then they can leave. He goes out the door, and Scully looks very much relieved, except… whups! Mulder lied, and he just left with the car, causing Scully to put her hands on her hips and do a very, "Oh mah gawd, I am so fucking annoyed!" face.

Cut to the security fence where we saw the air show earlier. Mulder is being led by our radical teens to a hole in the fence that they had told us about during their hamburger reenactment of what they had seen.

They tell Mulder how to get to the place where they watch the air show, and Mulder then asks them how far it is to Yellow Base. The radicals are like, "Dude, no way, it's like, ten miles!", which of course is foreshadowing for what's to come.

Cut to Mulder, sometime later, trampling through very tall weeds and grass, looking dirty and tired. He stops for a minute, but keeps going. Pretty soon it's dark, but, hey! He's made it.

He's standing on a runway of sorts, when, OBAGAWSH, IT'S THE TRIANGULAR UFO! It goes right above his head, hangs there for a moment, and then flies off. He is then, almost instantaneously, chased down by military men, who pin him down to a gurney, put him a vehicle, and inject him with something.

Cut to Scully having one Hell of a time trying to reach Washington D.C. via phone.

Cut back to the base, where Mulder is being dragged through a building full of men working on the UFO thing we saw before. He's fading in and out, though, and can't seem to stay conscious.

Cut back to the motel, where Scully is approached by the reporter guy from way earlier, coming out of her motel room. She reaches in her back pocket to find that she does not have her gun on her. Uh-oh spaghetti o's! The reporter says he was looking for her, that he had knocked, but the door was open, so that obviously gave him clearance to invade her privacy.

We hear a walkie talkie go off in the car (it says "page to Red Bird, which is sort of disconcerting, because that's the same name the guy speaking in code outside of the restaurant earlier was called) and Scully decides it would be a good idea to break into his car, lock herself in, and go through his things. It's here that she finds out that our reporter is actually not a reporter at all, but is, in fact, Paul Moseinger, Airbase Security.

Uh… whups.

Our friend Paul breaks the window with what looks like a fire extinguisher, and he and Scully have a bit of a fight. Scully prevails, however, by grabbing his gun, and pinning him up to the car. At about this time, our radical teens pull up on their scooter, and tell Scully that they took Mulder to the base, had waited for him, but he hadn't come back. Scully then tells Paul that he's going to get on the walkie talkie and find out where Mulder is, or else she's going to expose the experimental aircraft thing.

It is important to note that although Scully has accepted the idea of experimental aircraft, she has not accepted the idea that it is of UFO technology.

Cut to the base, where weird and bad things are being done to Mulder.

Cut back to our friend Paul, who is being forced at gunpoint (the gunman being Scully), to drive to the base. They stop at the gates and wait.

A military jeep car thing pulls up and drops off a very exhausted, dirty, and confused looking Mulder. Scully tells Paul to keep the car running and to get out of the car. She tells Mulder to get in the car (more than once), and Mulder sort of just limps over to her.

Paul leaves us with this gem: "I just want to say, everything you've seen here is equal to the protection we give it. It's you who have acted inappropriately."

Mulder and Scully get into the car, and Scully drives off quickly.

Scully: "You okay Mulder?"

Mulder: "I think so… Scully, I…"

Scully: "What?"

Mulder: "…How did I get here?"

Whups! Mulder's had his brain fucked with!

Cut to the Budahas residence, where Mrs. Budahas answers the door and says that Mr. B is getting much better. Mulder asks if he can see him, but Mrs. B is like, "Uh… he's resting," and we hear him screaming, "Who is it now?" in the background. Mrs. B gives a half-assed thank you, and closes the door in their faces.

Mulder insists that she must have been threatened, but Scully loses her shit, and goes on about how they don't have any proof of anything, that that's what she's going to put in her report, and that they are getting the Hell out of there.

Cut to Scully writing her field report, which basically does just say, "Yeah, we don't know shit. The end."

Cut to Mulder running on a track somewhere. He is then approached by our good ol' friend, Mr. Deep Throat.

Deep Throat: "Your lives may be in danger."

Mulder: "Why?"

Deep Throat: "You've seen things that weren't to be seen. Care and discretion are now imperative."

Mulder: "I saw-"

Deep Throat: "As I've said, I can provide you with information, but only so far as it's in my best interest to do so."

Mulder: "What is your interest?"

Deep Throat: "The truth."

Mulder: "I did see something (I do believe in fairies), but it's gone. They took it from me. They erased it. You have to tell me what it was."

Deep Throat: "A military UFO?"

Dramatic pause.

Deep Throat: "Mr. Mulder, why are those, like yourself, who believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life on this Earth, not dissuaded by all the evidence to the contrary?"

Mulder: "Because, all the evidence to the contrary is not entirely dissuasive."

Deep Throat: "Precisely."

Mulder: "They're here, aren't they?"

Deep Throat: "Mr. Mulder, 'they've' been here a long time."

THE END!

SCORE:

Times all or most of the agents' evidence is destroyed/taken/forgotten: 2

Times Mulder's phone is tapped: 1

Times Deep Throat is featured: 1

Times one or both agents are pulled over by unidentified men in nice cars: 1


End file.
